first job coming soon..

2nd 'interview'...jz like comfirmation only ler..hahax...

first job : sales assistant (known as SA as well..)
salary : RM500 (nt included any ot yet..jz a basic salary..nt much yea..wuwu..)
first day of the job : 01.01.2009
dress code : long pair of..erm..trousers..'bao' shoes..

dear xis gt the same as mine yo..yeah yeah..can work together lo..hahahahaha...
hope our shift oso the same de..kakaka...

all the best yea!! ^^

225

dear fanie~

OH YA!!!

dear fan ah...me today got some more sim card again o...
erm...erm...actually while me n dear xis waiting at spring yea..we too miss dear ma..so i did cal dear using one of the sim card o..bt dono y i mis cal..
then then...suddenly du bcome joking wit dear ki...wd can make fren lar...ur voice so sweet lar...hahax...

soli soli...dear so gud sure wont angry de ho...yeah..hahax..bluek..

interview INTERVIEW!!!

hmmm...finish first interview by mr.Tony le...
jz few ques lor...ever do any job...expected salary..can 'eat bitter' bo..prefer promoter o sales assistant..n bla bla forgot le...huhu..

but..but...he said need 2nd interview again wor..wil cal us again...
so nw jz wait wait n wait lor...wonder if thr's any other better place to work..hahax..but no idea lar..nvm lor...wuwu..

gud luck!!
hope can work together wit dear xis lar...kekeke...

lOOking for job lar...

going to hav my first job interview at ta kiong today...
hahax...unbelievable....

ALL da BEST for me n dear xis...huhu^^

cool!!

GOOD MORNING!!!

i wanna go sleep liao...hahax..
nite nite~~
have a nice day~

20 dec 2008

today ben ben going back to hometown le...
we actually planned to stay together for some time after check out from damai...but knot..
ben ben's grandma bday..his cousin going to drive them all back to celebrate wit his grandma..so...we checked out around 12 then straight away go back..bt of cos after tat 3 gals did find a place to sit down, drink+eat, feel lik talk o share our feel bt we all was lik no energy n mood to say anything yet..haha
i noe we all felt sad bout it..even ben ben himself oso din mean to go back so early..
honestly..i was super sad...

27 dec 08, he wil report himself to ns in bintulu...it going to take him 3 months...tis is so so long for me, o i should say for us...
11 march 09,the end of ns...for sure n of cos he wil back to his hometown...
3 days after,14 march, is my 18th bday...i wish tat he can come n celebrate together...bt of cos tis is super hard n even impossible...n i don even noe when is he coming back...feel super super miss him...

in the journey coming back..everyone was so quiet..i tried to concentrate in driving..sometimes i drive fast..sorry dear fan n xis if i scared two of u...hope no next time..hahax...i've tried so so hard to say some words to make all of us start talking n stop being so sad lor...
when we reached ben ben house, n when he say bye..i can feel tat 3 of us started crying silently..no one can hide the sadness..we seems to b so weak yea..jz few months bt..hahax..

ben ben sent a long sweet msg...made me so touched n cried more..actually...i used to sms wit him everyday le..cant really imagine the time he go for ns..mayb we cant really sms..omg..haiz..
for sure...all of us gonna miss him lotzzzzzzzzzz...
so many words in my heart...cant really express them all...

ben ben..
remember take care urself..
n keep the star wit u..
miss u lotz...
love love...

everyone trying nt to thk bout it..
nt to talk bout it..
jz to prevent the thg from getting worst n worst...
i din even wan to write her name o nickname in msg..
but..
is the thg still thr??
she jz on a frenster profile..
n dear fan did viewed it..
she said wd wanna say sorry to besties..
i dono y..still..i don feel lik thk bout it...
dono is sick of it ady..
o scare later thk back then the feel of anger come back again...
dono wan hw...
feel lazy o tired to solve tis kind of stupid thg...
hw come..cant really remember the prob,the anger,the tao yan..
mayb jz din thk bout it kua...

dear~~

ben ben going back to hometown lor..gonna miss him lot lot..
really really wish tat he cn stay wit us forever..stay by side,stay in mind,stay in heart,stay in phone,stay in many many more..haha..
holiday nw lor~suddenly dn really lik it..dame bored!!feel lik going back to normal sch life..
although hav to wake up early..but at least cn stay together wit all dear dear...
ply together..chit chat together..fooling around..so nice!! hmmm..so so so love u all lar...huhu..

~forever love~
muz keep in touch..
happily..
peacefully..
n bla bla bla..

really really..
LOVE u all v v v v v v much!!!
wen,xis,fan,beng...^^
muaks~

矛盾~

有的时候很矛盾..不知道应该要怎样比较好..

有的时候..心里像是有一些东西..就是很像有一些东西..可能是埋怨或不愉快..不清楚..反正..很像有一点想说, 又有一点不想说..但是最后还是没说...因为, 觉得说了很像没什么好处, 只是给身边的人火上加油罢了..就干脆当作什么事也没有..睁一只眼闭一只眼..

但是啊! 又在想...不知道这样..会不会让那些跟我有一样埋怨的人不爽..可能会觉得我懦弱..可能会觉得我怎么这样啊! hmmm...好矛盾哦...

所以呀! 干脆什么都不管..想什么就说什么..不爽什么就不爽什么..跟着心走..做自己..也不会让做作有机会跟我扯上关系啦! 姐姐那天突然跟我说啊! 有的时候啊..你越害怕失去的东西就会越容易失去哟! 那干脆不要想这么多嘛!

但是啊! 这样又不怎么好耶! 可能会让一些东西没办法平息..

哎哟! 不知道..随便啦!

无聊~

我一直在说..爱情是多余的..因为它带给我们的痛苦会很糟..所以..我们只需要亲情和友情就够幸福了..可是今天忽然渴望有爱情的疼, 爱, 保护, 体贴..突然想依靠一个肩膀..应该会很幸福吧!嘻嘻...原来dear说得没错..爱情可以给的东西是不一样的..哈哈哈..

好无聊喔...hahahah..huhu..还是"友情万岁"比较好吧..kaka..bluek..

to dear fanie~

我听过一句话.. "爱情..是玩不起心理战的.." 但是我发现..原来友情也一样玩不起心理战...

如果我们心里是很在乎某一个朋友..那拜托..不要说什么没有你我也无所谓..真的..

担心..害怕..想太多...

今晚,突然间..心情有点..低落...dear dear 提醒了我一件事..是一件..原来一直都很害怕的事..

突然发现..考完SPM得到自由的日子越近..同时也就表示..我和我的dear dear们要分开的日子也就越近了..每次想到这里都有种好想哭的感觉哦..真的真的不想我们分开啦!! 最快会离开的应该是ben ben吧..毕竟他的家不在这里..而且他又这么'幸运'的要去国民服务...以后我们还会像现在一样..每天sms吗?他还可以像现在一样那么疼我们吗? 接下来就是死鬼了..他很像要去新加坡..但是不知道是什么时候.. 再说..接下来我们大家都会各奔前程啊! 但是....天下无不散之宴席这句话我有点不太喜欢...

最近朋友之间又好像出了问题..我们跟joe joe好几天没讲话了..关于这件事的因果..真的也不想再提了..好累哦..为什么要在这么最后相处的时候出问题呢?虽然..有些东西想了都会气..但是,我可不可以自私一点..要求大家忘了不愉快的事..不耍脾气..不耍性格..不要不服输..好好的相处下去呢??要不然..我们真的会散的..我知道这不容易..我也在努力..我也不知道这是对还是错..人与人之间的相处真的有点难..突然觉得好混乱..我们到底要怎样才可以不吵架..才可以和睦共处..才可以相亲相爱呢?? 好累哦...

朋友..应该怎样??
包容...爱护...容忍...接受...坦诚??
不知道...

下雨天...

hmmm...tis is my blog..so i can say anything i wan ya...

2day we all went to atmosfera 2study o...actually quite a nice place 4studying la..thanks dear fan on her suggestion..well done!huhu..bluek..
but then...i saw him wor...dono y he wil go ler...mayb miz sigui too much..haha..swt...actually b4 i saw him..i noe he was thr ady..through wd??through his cigarette...haiz..he ask sigui help to keep awhile 4him..n accidentally,i discover it in sigui's beg beg lor...hmmm...feel lik throwing it into d dustbin bt of cos i noe i cant...no use ady oso..
tis time saw him nt lik tat time in state,keep trembling 4nth...tis time jz..gt weird weird de feel..o heart a bit pain pain de feel...actually feel lik scolding sigui y let him go thr,annoy me study only..bt i din say lar..cz...still gt a bit feel lik seeing him ma..fan zen i should try to get use to it...so tat next time we can still b fren lik b4...bt hav 2wait me put down first..heh...

thanks fan,xis n ben ben 4caring me o...mayb lik sigui said,i should put down le..knot expect anything liao...boh ko neng ady...haha..i'll try my best de ya...

下雨天 南拳妈妈

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你
...
...
...
怎样的雨 怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大 天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴
...
...

ting's first law of LOVE!!

Appreciate whatever you have now..

Hold it tight and love it with your heart..

Don't wait until u lose it from your hand...

Regret will be useless...

And it will be too hurt......



!!:
!!!::
!!!!:::
!!
!!
!!
!!

easy to say, hard to do...huhu..


*ps: can be any kind of love...family..friends..pet..lover...
hahah..

new favourite song~~

Talk To Me.. 钟嘉欣

Talk to me
Speak with me
Don’t sink before you rise, baby
Don’t fade away

You hesitate
You seem to wait
For all the time we had
Feels a world away

Who’s to say, we’ll be okay
we will make it through the night
Don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile

cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
look I bought your favorite ice cream
I don’t want to see it melts away
If you walk out now
I don’t know if we could be the same, baby
just talk with me
cause I want you to stay here with me

The memories
The things we did
I locked inside my heart
where i know i won’t forget

And now, who’s to say, we’ll be ok
we will make it through the night
don’t wanna wake up in this state
I just want us both to smile

cause we’re the same
And I know that we’ll never change
look I bought your favorite ice cream
I don’t want to see it melts away

If you walk out now
I don’t know if we could be the same, baby
just talk with me
cause I want you to stay here with me
I want you to stay here with me

new lesson~dn cheat..

sometimes we're jz having fun...sometimes we've to..sometimes...

dono is wu hui o wd...fan wanna ply ply 'joking' wit ben ben...n..i guess i help some..bt bla bla bla in between then i tot ben ben cheat me..he explained..bt still i feel weird weird..i din say anything anymore..jz don wanna spoilt our frenship n giv some more trust...plus i guess everything wil b jz cos by wu hui..n i guess i did helped a bit to let the 'joke' look more true..so jz act nth...act sleep..

bt seems really hate ppl cheat me..i din noe i can b so hate it..sot de..mayb ppl tel truth let me disappointed wil b better than cheat me n let everything look as if better...mayb lar..heh..bt i'm glad tat i'm able to handle my anger at tat moment...mayb 我有长大多一点点了..^^

i learn sth from tis time de 'accident'...nth wil b gud when one is angry..so if the one is able to cool down o stop his/her mind for even second..everything wil b in a much much better way...忍耐make ppl feel bad o even 委屈at tat first o second moment bt it's quite gud in order to get a better ending...yuhuu~~

.~*`frens 4ever`*~.

health~

'tail bone' still not really feeling well o...the part tat we learn from biology, either sacrum o coccxy o both...

sometimes still wil pain pain de lo...sit up from chair especially wit cushion wil lik ah ma, hav to b slow slow..haha...

mummy ask me go c doctor again bt i tin no need la..cos i've seen twice liao ma..even got my x-ray ady..all say nth le..bt hw come wil pain..dono..haha...swt'''

new game

today accompany sis go back to her office awhile...i played tis while waiting o...

quite pro rite??!!! c the one on the RED centre..huhu..bt actually i took off those nt 'cun' de n keep replay jz got it lik tis la..hahaha...but still pro eh..huh...

tis is really one game lik tis de...heng heng got one in the middle thr again eh!! hahaha...

eyes too gud..=.=

his msn personal msg...suddenly change to ' i luv u=)' ...omg!! who's tat u??? y i wanna saw tat wor...kek si kek si....huh...chap siao ho~~~ about 5 months din contact lor(i guess..)...i should put down ady yo...n mayb i did it liao o..hmm...come on!! 有志气一点!! yuhuu~~~

gemini...

我从来没想过..我会是一个那么不称职的好朋友...与sister现在的状况, 我一直把重点放在我们吵架闹翻那件事..而现在, 谁对谁错, 似乎不是那么重要了..但是, 我却从来没想过, 在我们闹翻之前, 我已经是那么的差, 甚至, 那么的不了解他...

i saw a passage about Gemini from dear fanie's blog..i was so shocked after i read it..it says...
gemini ppl can chat wit others on any kind of topics, bt dey would nvr talk bout themselves as dey don't really show others wat dey tin o wdv..bt my gemini sister always share wit us wd's going on around him, wd he met, wd he tin n even cry wit us..sometimes i still blame him as we always listen to him bt he nvr listen to ours..BUT i should appreciate for his trust..

second, gemini ppl are most peaceful..dey don quarrel n hate quarrel..if dey really did, dey'll jz forget bout it the next day..except if u really hurt him o made him feel over, n if tis really happen, then u'll nt b able to b his fren anymore..o even if u're lucky enough, still u wont b as gud as b4...it's like telling me tat sister wont come back anymore...form 5 is ending soon..if our frenship do not recover then.....

third, love is important for gemini..very very important..bt hw come i do nt noe tis...n yet still i blame him for leaving us bcos of his gf...mayb..we should look wider..n祝福them...

latest news around me..swt...

getting lazier to post my feeling in my blog...lazy to type..lazy to express...

seems lots of tin happened around me...two of my besties..break with their dearest...one seems lik still ok..but worried mayb she's nt ok but din say out...only hope she's really fine lo...
while the other one..hurt lots...she choose to break bt then regret..we all noe they still love each other bt jz mayb cannot 相处..tats y people say should always follow ur heart..don b so stubborn n act lik very 有个性..the one who get the 'benefit' from the effect wil always b yourself..haiz..so sad to see her lik tat..n yet i cant help much..jz nw called duck duck n asked him sth..dono y..mayb bcos i'm stupid or so easy to cheat..i choose to believe him bout sth..n asked my besty to try to believe too..cos i tin..tat's one of the little way to feel a little bit better..bt of cos..i don tin it works..haha..swt..i really dono wd to say to her..dono hw can make her feel better..useless me..ish...mayb i jz try to b a gud listener or rubbish bin when needed..haha..
one more besty..she seems lik always no problem..never gt problem..especially problem tat's hard to solve..if she's really a person lik wd i've seen..hope she can always b happy lor..bt hope she can say it out if thr's anything happen too..i tin she will..kua..hehe...

n me...hmmm..lik my bro T said..my problem is look lik no problem bt actually tat's the serious problem..haha..me n him..seems..nth wil happen nw or in the future..for me..he had changed LOTS..totally changed into another person which i don noe..nth to blame with ya..today..is the sixth day we din sms each other..right after he asked me the ques..'why must we...don u tin...wasting time?'..the him i noe last time wont ask me tis kind of ques..last time..he cares me lots..says sweet words to me..n bla bla bla...nw..i cant feel at all tat he's caring me..n he never says any sweet words or even an alphabete related...n he wont listen to wd i say i tin..i jz hope he can take care n control himself n stay away from those bad habit..n bla bla bla..mayb he still likes me bt...i don understand y he can change so so so much in quite a sudden..n yet i believe tat he thinks he's still the same..i've no idea wd should i do..n i choose nt to tin of it first as i dono wd to do n to wait if thr's anything going happen o nt..hope i wont regret..haha..=.=
n my family gt sum problem summore which i tin no one could solve it except 当事人..

haiz..better try my best to concentrate on my study first...spm come soon...have to trust myself...GOOD LUCK!

blur~~no idea...

sometimes i think...i'm juz lik a fool..doing something without respond...am i doing sth correct? o juz sth shows i'm stupid...i juz need somebody to tel me i'm correct..somebody to show me i'm still cared o...watever...i've no idea on wd i'm doing now..or even after...or mayb wd's going to happen to me again...seems i've juz missed my direction...the feel of scared n 'blur' is all around me...wd does it mean when someone suddenly offline after u've juz online???purposely o..juz accidentaly... swt... think positively..think of the good things..give TRUST...but b4 all tis...can anyone tell me wd's he thinking about??? o wd's happenning?? i juz need some 安全感...o truth...

work hard on making myself busy...jia you!!!

原来...想念是这样...

不开心啦...好久都没有联络对方了...其实就只是几天啊..可是就是快受不了...因为我们完全不能联络...no sms...no call..no chatting..jz..nothing!!! sien sien sien....ish....feel lik we're so far away...

不明白为什么我这么衰...我online的时候他不能..我没online then他就on...i keep on waiting for call..but when he really called, i missed it...arh!!sienzz....seems when we're going to hav the chance to meet each other then in the end...cannot...haiz haiz haiz...swt...really...crazy missing...tat day suddenly bought eclipse..haha..not bcos i wanna eat it...but only bcos it makes me feel lik he's with me...

today after meeting hav a heavy rain...really feel lik walking under it...but then..i'm jz standing at the side playing wit the rain water...only make my hands wet...but..haha..so lucky..Mag push me down..so i've the chance to stand under it for a short while...haha...swt... 什么时候可以再像之前一样, 继续sms... 杨宗伟唱的: "有一种想见不能见的伤痛.." haha...不要说见面, 只是一个小小的sms都没有了...

bla bla bla~~sienzzz...(初二)

dono wat happened tonite...suddenly in bad mood...so down...juz lik...突然间有很多杂讯进入我的脑袋...should have reasons...

actually...suddenly realise something...few years oledi...my bro T wil come to my house with other two bro..then bring me go visiting.. but tis year, even my bro T come back from kl i oso dono..and he never come to my house anymore.. is it bcos i refuse to continue our dream? i really din mean it..juz dono y..the feeling seems to be disappeared..i really felt very sorry to u guys..i'm even thinking of continue, but not bcos i wan, juz bcos i think i have to..i juz need some more time to think.. i noe i din contact my bro T for some time oledi..is bcos i don dare to..i dono wd can i say if i sms o cal him..i still remember my bro T told me b4..we'll always be bro n sis..no wonder how..but..i'm not trying to blame him..i noe it's my fault..i felt helpless..haiz...

should i continue?? seems everyone is eyeing on me..scouts from my troop.. leader from other troop..frends from my sch..even in different class with me..n even my scout fren from perak.. nw dn i noe..i join scout not bcos of 'him'..but he gaves me spirit to continue on our journey towards our dream..but now, he's not tat special to me..cos i don tin i still...him.. so..seems..i lose almost half of my spirit..n the other half lose too..haiz...

tis should only be a part of the reason y i suddenly in bad mood tonite.. the other reasons..haha..i dono...mayb i'm listening to soft n sad songs..haha... anyway,writting out makes me feel better..haha..

i'm free~~

hmm.. first time i write my thoughts in blog.. hahax...

i saw him(js) yesterday when i went the spring.. he kacau me b4 i saw him..
everything seems to be normal.. i can talk normally, with him n his sis.. look at him normally.. n treat him as a simple friend.. everything will become a part of my memories.. all those unbelievable things happened in the past.. i think, for him, all those things is juz very tiny things, like never happens..haha.. the feeling of recall back is quite nice lo.. everything bitter last time juz lik..become a special experience.. experience tat made me more mature a bit..haha..

at least i'm happy now.. i'm free!! haha... hope i din get myself wrongly... but i think i wont...